Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Ground Control

Less rambling more incisive prose?

Well not on here. It's the usual gumph and a gig this time. 

Richy Rich, 'how do you fancy seeing God is an Astronaut at the Brudenell Social Club?' not something that's said everyday. I was also swayed by the 3 bands for £6.50 argument and well versed in the art of 'aye go on then', it's like taiquondo' for easily lead Smoggies, I found myself in Leeds on a cold Friday night in January with Rich and his girlfriend/partner Merri.

Leeds is not the best place to use the phrase 'what could possibly go wrong', having lived in Leeds for a few years, partied in Leeds often and been to the festival consistently there are a whole bunch of stories of 'gone wrongs'. To save the rambling, put all these words into the next 10 paragraphs (with other words and phrases for padding)

Broken ribs
Bale of Hay
Leopard skin top
golf in the attic
Winston Churchill's boots
Flour in the hall
Running over cars
'Let me off the bus'
How much rain
Barrels on Hills
Full set of Roadworks
Women slashing in the blokes urinals

and many more I hesitate to mention on account I'm still mates with some of you and wouldn't want to implicate the guilty.

So 'what could possibly go wrong' for £6.50. Well firstly Rich had had a bit of a turn and was on drugs to calm him down and not allowed to drink, although he is brilliant at snooker now. When we got there, I remembered The Brudenell social club from my distant past, well I'd lived in the pub next door for about 6 months...this was going well. (Rich had finished pint 1)

Beers in hand (really cheap beer at that) and a swift chat and on came the first support band Solus Locus to the immortal opening line 'this is our last gig'. I honestly haven't laughed so much at a No 3 band ever. The first song was for all their friends which was nice but it amounted to about 8 people, and even that would have been ok but for the slow bit in the middle where he said ' get your lighters in the air' One lighter went up!

Two songs later 'this is for my mum and dad' , 'oh what, they left?' magic. The 'roadie' not singing pal got on stage to not sing, the drummer actually quit the band halfway through the last song and had just about packed his kit up and left before the end without saying cheerio to the rest of them and then finally, les enfant bastardo Jarvis Cocker look-a-likey lead singer stood precariously on his single flimsy standing keyboard with all  the grace of a geeky stork balancing on a pin head. I may have been the only person applauding, but I was just hoping he was going to fall into the Justin from the Darkness mode and think it was real, wave back and fall on his face. 'Oh well of for another pint Rich?' 'Aye go on then'.

Support act number 2, I Concur came on and were excellent, most notably for the blurriest lead guitarists hand since Bernard from New Order last strapped a guitar on in anger. 'pint Rich?' 

And then the Astronaut blokes appeared, looking a bit 'middle of Norfolk' for my liking but heck do they make a great sound. The singing and words were a bit sparse but the tunes were brilliant, in fact think Mogwai turned down a tad and with more tunes. Gets my vote. 'one for the road Rich?'

In the old days I would have walked back from here to town or at least jumped in a car and said 'as far as possible for £1.35p in bronze money' (this did happen circa 1985). But older and wiser we phoned our trusty taxi driver who said 'I'll be with you in 10 minutes'. Why I fell for this again I don't know. I fell for the drunken kebab option too. 

Kebab almost gone after 15 minutes we phone the cab 'two minutes mate' and one more time 'end of the road mate'. Bollocks it was getting cold so we nicked some other blokes cab, I think Merri was impressed. 

Well right up until the point that the taxi got hit by the hit and run stolen car she was impressed. (refer back to 'what could possibly go wrong'). It was more of a clipped the front quite hard, than a head on or side smash, so we'd kind of got away with it. UNTIL the taxi driver started chasing the stolen car (on our bill) I'm sure I was directing him quite well at top speed, meanwhile Ric's shouting 'no that way'. Fortunately after about 3 minutes or so we lost him (thanks Ric). We arrived back at the hotel 10 minutes later more shaken than stirred and just in time for last orders 'one last beer Ric'

'Not for me mate, medication you know'

top night all round


Anonymous said...

Nice new tag line under the TFL One Mountain header. Maybe you should replace the Mt Kilimanjaro picture with one of Craig's house?

Much more concise - well done.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to be pedantic, but surely you mean "more focused?"

PaulB said...

Can you be 'more' focused. Isn't it a precise term?

PaulB said...

and saying 'much more concise' isn't very concise at all.

Anonymous said...

Picky, picky. The lot of you.

Anonymous said...

I'd not noticed the tag line. I didnt know what a tag line was. I'm still not sure if its a correct term either.

Anyway, I didnt realise we were getting fit, I thought we were just out for a stroll.

What did the old tagline say? I still fancy a trip to Kilimanjaro so I think you should keep the picture. At least until I get the Gable End repointed.

I've had another idea. Its even better than the spoon with a hole in for people who dont like too much milk with their frosties. We should do the Lyke Wake walk. 40 miles on the flat, its traditional to start during the night so I can do my ghost laugh and we finish in a pub. Perfect training for a long walk.

PaulB said...

Did you actually realise you typed 40 miles? I suspect it's a tadge easier typing it than walking it.

What about I organise a Y3P walk in mid July with a camp night in Horton? Either the 18th or 25th? Rich can do support crewe and meet us between hills.

You've been up all three of them so know its not that tricky and it's ONLY 20 miles and they have more than one pub.

You just want the coffin badge don't you?

Andy do you fancy the Y3P in July?

Anonymous said...

I dont think I'm ready for 3 peaks in 12 hours, its the ascents that I struggle with. I'm not exactly greased lightning on the descents either. That was the big appeal about the Lyke Wake walk (which for years I thought was actually called The Lightweight Walk), its pretty flat. As you may have guessed, I didnt know there was a badge. You can have mine if we do it.

Late July is ok for whatever we end up doing as long as I dont get gored too badly mid July.