Less rambling more incisive prose?
Well not on here. It's the usual gumph and a gig this time.
Richy Rich, 'how do you fancy seeing God is an Astronaut at the Brudenell Social Club?' not something that's said everyday. I was also swayed by the 3 bands for £6.50 argument and well versed in the art of 'aye go on then', it's like taiquondo' for easily lead Smoggies, I found myself in Leeds on a cold Friday night in January with Rich and his girlfriend/partner Merri.
Leeds is not the best place to use the phrase 'what could possibly go wrong', having lived in Leeds for a few years, partied in Leeds often and been to the festival consistently there are a whole bunch of stories of 'gone wrongs'. To save the rambling, put all these words into the next 10 paragraphs (with other words and phrases for padding)
Bale of Hay
Leopard skin top
golf in the attic
Winston Churchill's boots
Flour in the hall
Running over cars
'Let me off the bus'
How much rain
Barrels on Hills
Full set of Roadworks
Women slashing in the blokes urinals
and many more I hesitate to mention on account I'm still mates with some of you and wouldn't want to implicate the guilty.
So 'what could possibly go wrong' for £6.50. Well firstly Rich had had a bit of a turn and was on drugs to calm him down and not allowed to drink, although he is brilliant at snooker now. When we got there, I remembered The Brudenell social club from my distant past, well I'd lived in the pub next door for about 6 months...this was going well. (Rich had finished pint 1)
Beers in hand (really cheap beer at that) and a swift chat and on came the first support band Solus Locus to the immortal opening line 'this is our last gig'. I honestly haven't laughed so much at a No 3 band ever. The first song was for all their friends which was nice but it amounted to about 8 people, and even that would have been ok but for the slow bit in the middle where he said ' get your lighters in the air' One lighter went up!
Two songs later 'this is for my mum and dad' , 'oh what, they left?' magic. The 'roadie' not singing pal got on stage to not sing, the drummer actually quit the band halfway through the last song and had just about packed his kit up and left before the end without saying cheerio to the rest of them and then finally, les enfant bastardo Jarvis Cocker look-a-likey lead singer stood precariously on his single flimsy standing keyboard with all the grace of a geeky stork balancing on a pin head. I may have been the only person applauding, but I was just hoping he was going to fall into the Justin from the Darkness mode and think it was real, wave back and fall on his face. 'Oh well of for another pint Rich?' 'Aye go on then'.
Support act number 2, I Concur came on and were excellent, most notably for the blurriest lead guitarists hand since Bernard from New Order last strapped a guitar on in anger. 'pint Rich?'
And then the Astronaut blokes appeared, looking a bit 'middle of Norfolk' for my liking but heck do they make a great sound. The singing and words were a bit sparse but the tunes were brilliant, in fact think Mogwai turned down a tad and with more tunes. Gets my vote. 'one for the road Rich?'
In the old days I would have walked back from here to town or at least jumped in a car and said 'as far as possible for £1.35p in bronze money' (this did happen circa 1985). But older and wiser we phoned our trusty taxi driver who said 'I'll be with you in 10 minutes'. Why I fell for this again I don't know. I fell for the drunken kebab option too.
Kebab almost gone after 15 minutes we phone the cab 'two minutes mate' and one more time 'end of the road mate'. Bollocks it was getting cold so we nicked some other blokes cab, I think Merri was impressed.
Well right up until the point that the taxi got hit by the hit and run stolen car she was impressed. (refer back to 'what could possibly go wrong'). It was more of a clipped the front quite hard, than a head on or side smash, so we'd kind of got away with it. UNTIL the taxi driver started chasing the stolen car (on our bill) I'm sure I was directing him quite well at top speed, meanwhile Ric's shouting 'no that way'. Fortunately after about 3 minutes or so we lost him (thanks Ric). We arrived back at the hotel 10 minutes later more shaken than stirred and just in time for last orders 'one last beer Ric'
'Not for me mate, medication you know'
top night all round