Thursday, 25 September 2008

No Caves and No Swimming



Ingleton seems to be one of these places in the middle of nowhere that I've visited at various times of my life with different people. The very first time I recall travelling over the moors in a rickety old mini with my folks on our way to the famous White Scar Caves

Just outside Hawes my dad thought it would be a great weeze to pretend the brakes had failed on the way down the steep hill into Hawes....oh how we laughed. Well we did until he screamed and dumped the car into the ditch 3/4 of the way down the hill, good work dad. Good job it wasn't an F1 car you would have been deducted 3 points for that.  I've just remembered that this incident was about a week before the same car set on fire on the A19. Even this would have been ok had my parents not both leapt out onto the hard shoulder and then turned around to see me locked in the back of this two door mini IN FLAMES. Perhaps they were trying to tell me something.

I think the next time I visited Ingleton was on the BeeLine Bus Tour, it was a 1970's thing, where you pretended to go on holiday by catching a coach 6 days a week and then sleeping at your nanas house. I'm sure if I'd have taken an A level in 'dull villages in the Yorkshire Dales that can fit a bus in' I would have gone to Oxbridge (thats a shocking name). Its a shame Half Man Half Biscuit havent got onto that one.


trust me that one is so good try this one too


Another time I was with someone evil who made me swim in the outdoor pool that was filled with water direct from the river...........big brrrr. So even though I really like Ingleton I appoached with some trepidation, particularly as when I hit the one way system I was directed in the opposite direction to the Tom Toms instructions.

Amazingly I arrived at the meeting point bang on time with 10 seconds to spare despite the bloody cyclists holding up the traffic. I pointed this out to Andy and his lovely wife Liz as I jumped out of the car in pretend grumpiness.


Andy ' oh thats my cycling club' woops! He also mentioned that half of them were over 60 which damn well explains why they can't keep up with modern car. Bet old Lance the drug machine still overtakes Mercs.

Andy's taken to doing a bit more walking now ever since he was hit pretty hard by a car whilst cycling around a roundabout in the Lake District. Slight admission here, when he told me this my thought process went along these lines, bloody hell are you alright, no are you really ok? then I thought, I hope there are no after effects and then that I hoped it wasnt his fault and then I hoped there would be no mental problems caused by it. All of this went through my head in about 2 seconds whilst what I actually said was

'did you cry'

still he was here and fighting fit...fitter than anyone else I know as he cycles up the Alps for holidays.

Ingleborough is one of Yorkshires three peaks walk and having done Pen Y Ghent this was number 2.  I'm off to collect my badge and tie once I've been up Whernside in October. It also turns out to be one of Wainwrights favourite walks so that'll do me, as long as I can stay away from the Ingleton curse.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous, full on sunny but with a light breeze and not too warm. Starting to like global warming again. We pretty much marched up to the top without the usual 6 breaks demanded by my less fit friends (Shad). It was on the summit that I discovered why Andy is indeed in sales, up until this point I'd had him down as trustworthy , accurate and honest. Turns out he does exactly the same bullshitting as the rest of us, as Bob Geldof once said paraphrased ' don't be fooled they are all just busking'.

Andy has brought this on himself by telling me months ago that he used to lead walking expeditions around the dales and the Lake District. Well I had my normal WW guidelines, meanwhile Andy has his detailed map. So when I concluded a certain direction was West, Andy decided to check on the map and then declared ' but I knew that just by looking at my shadow'


His face even says 'I've been rumbled'

It was also the direction I had pointed in not 2 seconds before and the direction his map said ' a hindsite shadow' if ever there was one. Within the next 10 minutes he had declared the Ribblehead Viaduct to be not Ribblehead but a different viaduct and then Mr Mappy took us offtrack and down the wrong route and then we had to detour off map more to get back 'on track'. Once on track we lasted about 10 minutes before we were off down the wrong track again! only a 2 mile extra detour. 

Note to Shad...be careful if you go walking with Andy and take some taxi money.

It was such a great day that non of the three of us cared too much and the views were fantastic across to the dales on one side and the Lakes on the other.

This part of the dales is also broken leg lottery country, you wouldnt want to be up here in the fog or the dark as huge pot holes appear out of nowhere, fortunately 'Andys track' had detoured so far there was more chance of getting cut off by the tide. I think Liz was ready for a sit down by the time we got back, since Andy had promised a 5 mile stroll which was infact an 11 mile up down and round hike but all good excercise and great banter. A swift refreshing cider 10/10 and back home to prepare for the Shad Challenge.





1 comment:

KayT said...

Beeline buses - how could I have forgotten them?????